dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Couch. On fire.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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