I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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