i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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