i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
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he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
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If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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