I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just found a bag of teeth...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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