He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
