Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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