Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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