I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize