Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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(434): View more from Virginia

ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I am the king of creep.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was

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(217): View more from Illinois

He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.

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