I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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