ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
