I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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