So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
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yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
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I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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