I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
