went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
