sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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