new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
