The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
