Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
