last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
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It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
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like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
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Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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