You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
