she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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