So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
