one word: firstdatebathroomanal
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This is my gift to your gina
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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