I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
