i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
