We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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