Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
