Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
