I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
