I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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