A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
