Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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