Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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