I think I died a long time ago.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
