Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
