Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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