Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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