So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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