I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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