ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
