smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
