Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
