never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
