words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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