Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
