He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
