2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
