A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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