We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
