You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
