How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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