I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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