sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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