grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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