Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
