Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
