Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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