pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
