She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
