We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize