She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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