Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
