At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Did you just see the Batmobile???
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
