it wasn't lemon gatorade
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
