NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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