either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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