How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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